Ants in the Pants

The Dingo and I haven't been our usual comedy of errors this week. Both of us have been busy at work (his work much harder/more physically challenging than mine) and I've been a little cranky from my furnace fueled insomnia. So instead of the usual Dingo/Doodle conversations it has been cut down to grunts and "what movie do you want to watch." Today I think we have hit the loony bin side of tired.

Dingo: Look what I got today!

Doodle: Is that one of those things that you spray inspectacide with?

Dingo: Inspectacide?

Doodle: Yeah, that's what it looks like.

Dingo: Well, it sprays insecticide but I'm sure if they ever come up with inspectacide it could spray that too.

The other night I ran across a couple of ants in the house, at which point I freaked out and began convincing the Dingo that if we didn't do something NOW they would take over the house while we slept and we would wake up in a bed filled with ants. So, at about 10 o'clock at night I had the Dingo lurking around the house in the dark spraying for bugs. I guess he decided to buy his new "toy" today to spray something industrial enough that that situation never happens again. Oh, and to raise my excitement about the contraption he stated, "Doodle, it's blue!" Great.

I suppose the good news is that we should be inspect free for a while.

Fiery Furnace Person

I didn't post yesterday, obviously. I thought about logging on to say, "I have a headache. That will be all." But then I remembered how bad my allergies are this time of the year and decided if I told you every time I have a headache I would have to change the title to said phrase and then you would probably stop reading. So for the rest of the spring, I have a headache. That is the last you will hear of that.

The Dingo is going to be working pretty late tonight and is going to pick up dinner on the way home. Since I am hungry NOW and I haven't eaten meat all day I am currently eating the leftover pepperoni from french bread pizzas last night (yes, I consider pepperoni a suitable meal of my day.) Due to the pepperoni the doggy Arleen is sitting here staring at me, raptured. I like to think she is pensively waiting on what Doodle genius makes it to this page, but we all know the truth... she loves me?

Anyway, on to the fiery furnace person. Last night I slept the worst I have a recent memory. The super fun part was about mid morning (3:30am) my insides lit on fire (no in the icky way, gross). It was only 62 degrees in our house and I was dieing of a heat stroke. It was like I was producing the heat. If this keeps up we may never need a heater again. Totally weird. Of course, when I got off work and was informed that I don't need to cook dinner I started thinking of what to do with my time. First thought: Tanning bed. What?! Really Doodle? You, who heated the entire neighborhood last night? Of course, let's go bake your skin. But BOOM! Common sense prevailed at the last minute.

All that is to brag that I used common sense. This happens about as often as Christmas. So I'm about to head out and get a new shower curtain. We have guests in town this weekend and you currently need a shower after you take a shower due to the mildew on my "non mildew" shower curtain. Yick.

We May be Cavemen By the Wedding

The Dingo and I have been together for more that eight years. Somewhere in the middle it was pretty evident that we would get married someday. So for about the past four years the statement "we'll register for it" has been said a bazillion times. Picture me yelling; "Dingo this plate says it was oven safe but it broke into pieces and RUINED THE BRIE!" The Dingo's response is to go buy new plates, a lot of them are chipped anyway. My response is "we'll register for it" but what about the BRIE?!

Just now I was trying to use our electric pepper grinder (yeah, we are lazy like that) and it wouldn't work. The Dingo commented that we should just get one of those big, wooden hand grinders. "Well, I have a BB&B coupon, should I go get one or just register for it?" Register for it.

So, slowly things in our home are getting old and breaking. Now that the ring is on my finger and the wedding date set we more than ever say we'll register for it. However, the wedding is a year away. At this rate, by the wedding I am going to be using wooden mallets and cooking over an open flame in the back yard. I hope the Dingo likes canned beans because that is all I know how to cook over a fire, a la bum style.

Speaking of cooking outside, the Dingo is grilling the pork chops I mention in a recent post. I never got around to cooking them so he is outside doing it now. I'm tasked with cooking purple hull peas (or is it blue? I can never remember). This involves boiled water and peas until the Dingo says dinner is ready. Tough job. But it's Monday and I have something called The Rule of Mondays. This means, I hated every part of the day, I want to go back to bed, if you want something get it your damn self or I will feed your feet to the raccoons in the trees behind our house. He is lucky to be alive and grilling.

I continue my campaign to own a rodent. The Dingo is apposed. But I saw the cutest guinea pig at pet co yesterday. He had his butt in one food bowl and his face in the other. Now that is an animal meant for me. They also have GP carriers! I could totally tote him around like a tiny dog. I take doggy Arleen with me just about everywhere but her 119 pound boo-honk is kind of hard to fit in a carrier. I'm sure she would totally dig it if I could though (yeah, she is lazy like that too). I took pictures, I'll post them soon.

Paint Chips

Ok, so the Dingo has informed me that he, in fact, did not eat glue in kindergarten. The following convo ensued.

Doodle: Everyone tasted paste as a kid.

Dingo: No, not most kids Doodle.

Doodle: You are so making that up! It smelled like mint!

Dingo: Still didn't eat it.

Doodle: So I guess we can file that as evidence #783 of what is wrong with me?

Dingo: I think we are at #784.

Doodle: Whatever, I've lost count at this point.

I can't help but be reminded of the movie Tommy Boy when David Spade asks, "Did you eat paint chips as a kid?" Why no David, I ate paste, thank you very much.

Another storm seems to be rolling into Memphis. That means I have to figure out what to do with these pork chops I just bought since the Dingo doesn't enjoy the sport of monsoon grilling. I'm also going to paint my toes. I'm thinking green will be suitable. I've taken to doing my own mani/pedis and using that money towards tanning. If you don't have olive colored skin you don't understand. I turn the yellowy-green color of olive oil when I am pale. Its not a nice look.

Wow, we sound exciting lately. My "little brother," aka a guy I was raised with so closely that we decided we count as somehow related, will be in town this weekend. He is wanting to show his girlfriend downtown and I think it's music fest so I'm sure craziness will happen. Hopefully something as funny as when our dear friend A got her boots peed on by a drunk stranger at Silky's. (Note: She didn't think it was as funny as I did.)

Dingo and Doodle Sat. Fun: Episode 3

Episode three is coming a day late. Yesterday I was way too busy sneezing and informing the Dingo that I was dieing. So, here we go...

Yesterday a haaaauuuuuge (that's dramatic speak for really big) storm blew through Memphis. Actually, it liked dumping water on us so much it came back a second time later in the afternoon and brought its friend hail along with it. So we were stuck in the house most of the day. When it finally stopped raining it actually turned into a nice afternoon.

I got out and went to the grocery store. I have been craving pears and blue cheese, an addiction I blame on my sister (try it if you never have). The little mom and pop store I usually go to down the street doesn't carry either which meant I had to go back to Kroger. This time I tried one on the opposite side of our neighborhood and WIN! It was totally fine. The other shoppers knew what they were shopping for and wanted to do it quickly, therefore I was able to continue breathing at a healthy pace. While there I also got some shredded lettuce. The momma Dingo always uses it to make salads. The bag says it's intended for tacos and such but I love it for salads. Doodle bites people! I also got this odd greek yogurt and honey combo thing. I haven't tried it yet but I'm optimistic.

I don't like the consistency of yogurt or pudding or anything that feels like eating glue (yeah, I was 5 at what time and it smelled like mint, you did it too, don't lie). But in my experience greek yogurt is thinner and I love honey so I'm thinking I'll love this too. I'll let you know how it goes.

The Dingo had to go into work for a little while yesterday so I watched Where the Wild Things Are since he didn't read the book as a kid and wasn't very interested in seeing it. I cried. I still love that story. Who knew James Ganoldini could bring me to tears without gunfire?

Other than that we watched another movie. I wasn't a fan so I'm not going to write about it. We ordered chinese food. Something else I'm not a fan of. So I ate blue cheese and pears. I was a fan of that.

Well, that's about everything interesting that happened yesterday. Oh, Arleen had terrible gas. You really wanted to know that right? I'm about to head to the tanning bed and figure out what to get the Dingo to put on the grill for dinner. We have some deer sausage but that's not enough for my carnivore. Wait, I just said tanning bed and dead bambi in one paragraph. I've offended someone right? Sorry. But I have engagement pictures coming up (tan) and the Dingo is from North Mississippi, deer happens. Thanks uncle J and the family Dingo!

Brain Dead

I don't have a ton to say tonight. I'm completely worn out. We had a super busy week. T was in town earlier this week and encouraged many late nights. After he left the (soon to be) in-laws came in to town. It's always fun having them visit, we really do enjoy their company and brother Dingo was able to join us too. It's fun now that he is getting older, he is more of a friend than just the little brother. Plus, there is another added benefit; momma Dingo comes to the house prepared to cook for us. I just stand around telling her where stuff is. And we have done this so many times that, at this point, I barely even have to do that. I just eat. They also brought us a huge fish fryer. I don't know what encouraged that but I have an idea the Dingo had something to do with it. He would fry anything. Definitely not in the wedding diet though.

Speaking of wedding, I am making progress on the guest list. Slowly but surely. I have to get moving on this and schedule the engagement photo session soon to get the save the dates ordered. Wow, there is so much that goes into getting married!

One of our creepy spring storms is rolling into Memphis as I type. What a great reason to lay around and do nothing. I think we may even have Chinese food delivered. And that being said, I have to go do something about the back screen door. When it storms the sucker tries to escape. I can hear it sawing off its shackles now. So I have to go latch it in place or else the Dingo will spend the next rain free moment screwing it back onto the house...and I don't want to have to help.

Best Quote EVER

We have a dear friend of our's in town this week. He has been working on a boat and this is his first break in a while. Needless to say he decided to start it off right. The Dingo and I tagged along to both enjoy some time with him and make sure he didn't get too crazy.

We were at a place near our house and said friend was a good way into his third or fourth....soda? Randomly, he looked down the bar at a total stranger and yells the following. Totally unprovoked.

T: Dream crusher! Dream crusher! I spotted you among the other minions you dream crusher! Why are you so against Britnay and Justin getting back together?! DREAM CRUSHER!

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. There was no explanation. The poor guy just stared back in disbelief.

Moral of the story, I love when T is in town.